Grandiosity is another hallmark of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and is featured prominently in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th. Edition (DSM-IV) published by the American Psychiatric Association (www.psychiatry.org) and the 5th Edition published in 2013. The Webster Dictionary definition of grandiose is "characterized by affectation of grandeur or splendor or by absurd exaggeration". What this manifests as is a person who essentially thinks they are better than others and deserve better than others and should only associate with those whom they perceive to be better then others.
1) One day shortly after I had graduated from medical school I was with my mother having lunch. My mother holds a master's degree and is currently a retired teacher. I had recently finished reading a book about Iran and was discussing what I had read with my mother. We came to a point of disagreement and though she had not read the book nor ever been to Iran, she insisted her point was right and when I continued to try and share what the book said that contrasted with her opinion she became very angry, and while pouring the glass of red wine she had been sipping on over my head she yelled "I am more educated than you".
2) My mother has a set of friends she has known since college. Ken and Mary have been a part of our lives since I was born. They have been present at every family gathering for as long as I can remember. Ken works for the police department and his wife Mary has been on medical disability for many years. One day my mother decided to have a barbecue and to invite some of my father's co-workers. My father and his co-workers are engineers. She does not invite Ken and Mary to this party but lets them know she is having the party and is not inviting them because "they are not of the same caliber as the engineers."
3) When I graduated from medical school, many of my friends' families were holding parties to celebrate the event and I was no exception. My mother decided to throw "me" a party. She invited many people to this party, not once asking me who I would like to invite. On the day of the party, I was surprised when I found I barely knew or never even met MOST of the people there. She had invited all of HER friends and acquaintances and very few of mine.
These previous examples illustrate how my mother thinks she is better than those around her and makes every occasion about her. In example 1, though I had obtained a BA degree from a more prestigious university than my mother AND had an MD while mother had a Master's degree, she was simply unable to allow FACTS to interfere with her over exaggerated sense of personal accomplishments. It also illustrates how she cannot handle being told her opinions are wrong. Simply implying she is incorrect injures her fragile ego to such a point that it elicits a very extreme reaction.
In example 2, she shuns her own friends because she does not deem them worthy to present to my father's co-workers. Her grandiose sense of self requires that others view her in the same way she views herself which is a person worthy of only keeping the most prestigious company. In example 3, she turns the celebration of MY graduation which should have been an occasion to celebrate MY achievements into a party for HER by inviting HER friends and acquaintances.
I hope these examples have helped to illustrate how grandiosity may manifest itself in everyday situations.
They need attention on themselves at all times and will find ways to make everything about themselves at all times.As the daughter of an NPD mother, I have many many examples of how this plays out in everyday life. I will give 3 examples from my own life experience that illustrate this behavior.
1) One day shortly after I had graduated from medical school I was with my mother having lunch. My mother holds a master's degree and is currently a retired teacher. I had recently finished reading a book about Iran and was discussing what I had read with my mother. We came to a point of disagreement and though she had not read the book nor ever been to Iran, she insisted her point was right and when I continued to try and share what the book said that contrasted with her opinion she became very angry, and while pouring the glass of red wine she had been sipping on over my head she yelled "I am more educated than you".
2) My mother has a set of friends she has known since college. Ken and Mary have been a part of our lives since I was born. They have been present at every family gathering for as long as I can remember. Ken works for the police department and his wife Mary has been on medical disability for many years. One day my mother decided to have a barbecue and to invite some of my father's co-workers. My father and his co-workers are engineers. She does not invite Ken and Mary to this party but lets them know she is having the party and is not inviting them because "they are not of the same caliber as the engineers."
3) When I graduated from medical school, many of my friends' families were holding parties to celebrate the event and I was no exception. My mother decided to throw "me" a party. She invited many people to this party, not once asking me who I would like to invite. On the day of the party, I was surprised when I found I barely knew or never even met MOST of the people there. She had invited all of HER friends and acquaintances and very few of mine.
These previous examples illustrate how my mother thinks she is better than those around her and makes every occasion about her. In example 1, though I had obtained a BA degree from a more prestigious university than my mother AND had an MD while mother had a Master's degree, she was simply unable to allow FACTS to interfere with her over exaggerated sense of personal accomplishments. It also illustrates how she cannot handle being told her opinions are wrong. Simply implying she is incorrect injures her fragile ego to such a point that it elicits a very extreme reaction.
In example 2, she shuns her own friends because she does not deem them worthy to present to my father's co-workers. Her grandiose sense of self requires that others view her in the same way she views herself which is a person worthy of only keeping the most prestigious company. In example 3, she turns the celebration of MY graduation which should have been an occasion to celebrate MY achievements into a party for HER by inviting HER friends and acquaintances.
I hope these examples have helped to illustrate how grandiosity may manifest itself in everyday situations.
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