Introduction

I am the daughter of a narcissistic personality disordered (NPD) mother and an enabling father. I am also a practicing physician, wife, mother, landlord and writer.  Having an NPD mother is really something that I have only recently realized after a particularly crazy making encounter with my mother a few years ago. I was on the phone with a friend describing this horrible encounter where my mother out of the blue and with no evidence to to support her, claimed my husband was abusing our son. 

After much discussion with my friend, a fellow physician, he encouraged me to "Dust off your psychiatry books and re-read the Cluster B personality disorders. I think your mother may have one."

I was shocked at his suggestion. I had always suspected an underlying depression or anxiety but never a cluster B personality disorder. But out of desperation to find answers to her strange behavior and accusations I "dusted off" my old psychiatry books and reread the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th. Edition (DSM-IV) published by the American Psychiatric Association (www.psychiatry.org) criteria for cluster B personality disorders. The American Psychiatric Association  (APA) has since printed a 5th edition published in 2013 that places personalities disorders in the same category as other mental illness rather than its own axis as in DSM IV. The APA defines personality disorders as a "class of mental disorders characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual's culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with significant distress or disability."

The following is a list of the Cluster B personality disorders which are known as the dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders:

• Antisocial personality disorder: a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior.
• Borderline personality disorder: pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, identity, behavior and affects often leading to self-harm and impulsivity.
• Histrionic personality disorder: pervasive pattern of attention-seeking behavior and excessive emotions.
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder: a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

I write this blog in the hope that my stories of my past and present struggles and how I have worked and continue to work to overcome them can help people suffering from the same issues to heal and lead happy lives.

I will note that in order to maintain the privacy of my family and friends, I have changed names and in some cases details though the content will remain the same. 

Up next will be more detailed diagnostic criteria for NPD

Kona